the placement that almost was

This past weekend was a very hard one for me. Thanksgiving was this past week and my middle step-daughter flew in for the weekend, so we had both the younger girls, and the older one and the grand daughter were all over for our big dinner. Now, the girls' maternal grandparents live up here too, so they often go to see them while they are here. This year, their mother was also up to visit her parents for Thanksgiving, so the 2 younger girls went over to the grandparents' home for Thursday's festivities, so we decided to have ours on Friday. This really isn't all that unusual, as we've had all sorts of work schedule and flight delays and such, so it's something that happens once in a while.. Anyway, Friday comes around and Tom and the girls decide to go into Anchorage to do some Black Friday shopping while I get things going at home. (For the record, I did black Friday once.. and have vowed never to do it again, so my going wasn't an option.. lol and it's kinda nice to have the house to myself and calmly get things together, not to mention getting to sleep in a bit..) So I'm home alone, cooking and getting a few things taken care of when the phone rings. It's OCS asking if we'd be willing to possibly take a medically fragile 6/7 month old little girl. She was worn without a pituitary gland and her parents were having trouble dealing with the required medical care. (Basically, she needs daily shots, weekly doctor's visits and her stress levels have to be carefully watched... there's other stuff too, but that's the basics..) They had been having trouble caring for her and their older toddler and the state was looking at stepping in for the baby. So I texted Tom the let him know that he needed to call me as soon as he could. I swear, I barely hit send when the phone rang and it was Tom. He was calling about something entirely different, but it was crazy. So I talked to him about this, and he agreed that it was something we could do. So I called them back and told them we'd be willing, and they were going to have another case worker call me with the details. It was back and forth all day as they were dealing with the parents and the doctors and everything. And, of course, I was now running around trying to take an inventory of what I have, what I'd need, etc.. But, but by about 2PM, we got the call saying they were not going to be taking the child into custody, mom was starting to finally seem to get the training they were trying to give her, so, they all went back out to the village. I, of course, was devastated. I mean, I'm glad that mom and dad were starting to get things and all, but, I had gotten so excited about this placement possibility.. a baby in the house for Christmas and all.. It has taken me days to get over this failed placement. I never even saw her picture nor was I told her name, but those few short hours where she was a possibility.. I got very attached to her. They will be keeping us in mind if they need to pull her later, though, and I got to speak to several new caseworkers who will be able to keep us in mind for other cases as well, and they know we're interested in adoption, too, so.. networking, that would be the silver lining.

And off she goes...

Last Friday our little foster girl left us. It is a good move for her. They found a foster placement that could take her and her siblings, so they can all be together again. So it's a good thing for her. Has been hard for me though. Tom was gone most of last week, working on a little island out in the middle of nowhere. The sort of place where you bring all your food with you because there isn't anything at all out there. So he wasn't home for the transfer. It's just hard though. I'm getting the room all ready for Christmas though, just in case we get another placement by then. I really hope we get an adoptable placement soon. I need that. Really. I need that.

November

Ok.. I just have to say.. I would so like to go back and redo the last month completely differently, not due to anything related to H, really, though we have seen the end of the honeymoon period and she has started pushing more, but mostly due to other household and teenager related issues... We had our home visit and all of that went well. We had an actual visit with mom on Halloween. It was kind of short notice and there were some last minute changes, but she did get to visit with mom for a bit, which was good. And she continues to have nightly phone calls with dad. We got a call from the caseworker today. H will be leaving us this week, they are just waiting on an approval from her tribe and then they will be moving her into the same home her siblings are in. We will be sad to have her leave, but it will be good for her to be in the same home as her siblings, and will make scheduling easier for everyone. Not sure when she will be leaving. We were told that it could be Monday or Tuesday that they get the approval and then she'd likely to be moved that day or the next. So we wait and see, and then wait for the next placement, hoping, of course, that we will get an adoptable one soon.

about a month in

Well, we're not quite to the one month mark, but, a lot of crazy fun has happened. "H" is a great little girl. We are having so much fun with her. She is very smart and has been working with some really old computer software (muppet baby learning software, from like 1997...) on a really old laptop (about the only thing the lap top can run, and it's about the only thing that doesn't reject the software..) that is helping her with capitol and small letters and same and different, as well as her computer skills. She's also got a Sesame Street art program from the same era. There are a few other games in the program, but she's not quite up to them yet, but she is getting there. We have been going to story time at the library and she has been having fun. Last week we had a fireman there and they got to crawl around inside the fire truck. We also had a doctor's visit last week and are waiting on visits with the dentist and a cardiologist for a heart murmur the doctor noticed last week, though he's not worried about it, just, while she has access to care, get in as much as we can. She got to visit with her siblings 2 weeks ago, and this past weekend she got to visit with her maternal grandparents and an older sister that they are raising. Today we had a home visit with her caseworker and got caught up on what is going on. Looks like she will not be with us much longer as they are going to be moving on getting all 3 of the kids in the same home. There will be a meeting to plan that in about 2 weeks, and sometime after that, depending on how things go at the meeting, she will likely be leaving our care. This makes me sad, but at the same time, she really should be with her siblings, and the plan for these kids is reunification with their father, if not with their mother, so she doesn't really fit with our plans for adoption, so we will move on. And try not to have too much of a break down when she goes.

We have a Placement!!

Ok, you might be able to tell, we're excited. After having our license for a month, and waiting, and waiting for a placement, Thursday I had a doctor's appointment in town (which was also, thankfully, in the midst of a break in the rain and storms we've been having.. early Alaskan hurricanes going on the past month..) and as soon as I walked in the door, there was a phone call from OCS calling to see if we would be available to take placement of a 3 year old girl. So, of course, I said yes and I went in Friday at noon to pick her up. We don't have a whole lot of information on her just yet. She is 3.5 years old and she has a younger sister and older brother also in foster care. They have been in foster care since last Monday and while at their emergency intake placement, she had been bullying her younger sister, so it was decided to separate her for the time being. (Of course, all new foster homes are limited to a maximum of 2 children in care at a time for their first year anyway, so there was no way we could have taken all 3 regardless..) She is very bright, already knows her letters and numbers and colors, full of energy.. of course, she's 3 so the word "no" is a favorite and we are having the usual "i'm tired but not going to take a nap/go to bed if i can avoid it" melt downs as we try to establish a schedule and all, but over all, the last 2 days have gone very well and we are excited to have her here. We don't know yet if this will be a short term or a long term placement. They are still trying to get in touch with family members to see if any of them could take her and/or any of her siblings. If so, she could go with them at any time. So we are trying not to get too attached or make any long term plans with her just yet, but it's so very hard.. lol.. and we're kinda doing it anyway :)

Done!

Ok.. we have completed the box steps we needed to have for the windows in the basement area where the girls are currently situated while the upstairs remodeling has displaced everyone.. and we got B2's out of state background clearance (though she leaves in a week anyway.. *sigh*) so.. we are now all set to officially get our foster care license and start taking in foster kids! Not sure exactly when that will all officially happen, but there are no other problems preventing that, so yay! Hoping soon we will have further updates on that. (As well as a new job for Hubby soon, but more on that later.)

Home Inspection done!

A week and a half ago we got the call to schedule our home inspection. This is pretty much that last step we had before placement approval. Well, we're also still waiting on B2's background check since they have to do it in 2 states because of the split time thing, but that should be here soon.. Anyway, yesterday we had our inspection. I, of course, had spent the prior week getting the house as clean and tidy as I possibly could. Not the biggest concern in the inspection, but, it was something that everyone always does in the midst of the "will they think I'm good enough" panic. We passed with flying colors! We do need to build some steps under the basement windows to make them easier to access in an emergency but that will be easily done next week after Tom gets back. So I think we are set. Just have to wait for paperwork to clear and we will be off and running.

Home Insepction!!

Well, we got through our 2 day CORE training classes for Foster Care. Was so happy we managed to find them scheduled for a time Tom was actually home as well. (yay!!) and we've got B2's background clearance being done (shouldn't be a problem, but they have to run them in 2 states since she lives part time here, part time there..) and I got the call to schedule our home inspection. That's the last thing we need before we can get a placement. I'm so excited, though it's going to be a busy week. Inspection is on the 10th of July so I will be busy this week cleaning. I know we don't need a spotless home, just a safe one, but we just finished fostering a little pup who chewed up everything she could get hold of and, well, she made a bit of a mess.. She found a great new home at Saturday's doggie adoption clinic though, so we're taking a bit of a break from dog fostering until after inspection. Will make things a little easier on me. Really isn't much by way of other news. Just going to be busy, busy busy cleaning. Of course hubby's not home this week, or next, so the garage and construction zone will not get quite the cleaning they should, but will do what I can to tidy them up a bit. Had planned on spending a good chunk of time this week and/or next getting those areas ready for the next phase of construction, but that will have to wait until after inspection now.. ah well. :) Good cause and all!

Ok.. so I've been really really bad about posting on any sort of regular basis. I will blame just being busy, and/or sick... Winter and spring came. It was very cold and we had a lot of snow. And then I had lots of cleaning to do in order to get ready for the arrival of my 2 youngest step daughters for the summer. We also managed to get some work done on the master bath remodel, which is all very exciting. I so want to be back in our own room by next summer (am hoping for the end of the year, but.. always plan for delays.) and Had to get the garden started, though there is still work to be done with that. Also, we started fostering dogs last November and we've had a handful of great little dogs (6 in total) come through our doors. One of them stayed, but the other 5 have also found great homes. The last little guy that came through got adopted very fast. We only had him for 2 days. He got a great home and we're all very happy. If he'd stayed any longer he might not have left. Hubby and our oldest step daughter were both falling for him. If her husband had been home to test for allergic reactions, she might have taken him. Meanwhile, we had a bit of a snag with our recommendation letters. 2 of them got mailed in properly, a 3rd was dropped off by hand and seems to have gotten lost in the office, and the other 2 had them but forgot to mail them. But that has been taken care of and the last 2 were mailed in. We only need 3 turned in, so that will be good and we should be able to schedule the initial home study/inspection here in the next few weeks. We are taking our CORE classes this week, so those will be out of the way as well. Yay! And the older of the 2 girls has arrived. She's old enough that we have to go in this week and get her background check done, but she's also young enough and stayed out of trouble that there shouldn't be any problem :) This means we could have a placement anytime now! I am so excited and so anxious.

Approval!!

Yay!! we got the final clearance of the background check letter in the mail this weekend! yay!! Another step closer! woohoo!!!

February

Ok, well, big news.. last week we went to our first orientation meeting for working with the foster system. We have several weeks/months of paperwork, background checks and waiting, but, we are going to be working with the foster system and hopefully we will be able to adopt via them.
Today we turned in our first round of paperwork and got our fingerprinting done. I am really excited. We are finally moving forward on something! Woohoo!

Changes

I have been giving things a lot of thought this past month, and I think I've come to a decision that will be a bit of a change in how we go about things. I think that I am finally ready to work with the foster system. There will be risks, as always, but I've learned that there are risks doing the more traditional adoptions as well. I have been afraid of dealing with the foster system because I didn't think I could handle it if we had a placement fail, but I've learned that I am stronger now, and a lot of things have changed, including my health and all of the things that were dragging me down and causing problems for me. Many of those things are already vastly improved and the rest are getting there, and I'm not longer as afraid of things. So, next month we will be going to our first foster to adopt class. I really want 2012 to be our year for this.