the placement that almost was

This past weekend was a very hard one for me. Thanksgiving was this past week and my middle step-daughter flew in for the weekend, so we had both the younger girls, and the older one and the grand daughter were all over for our big dinner. Now, the girls' maternal grandparents live up here too, so they often go to see them while they are here. This year, their mother was also up to visit her parents for Thanksgiving, so the 2 younger girls went over to the grandparents' home for Thursday's festivities, so we decided to have ours on Friday. This really isn't all that unusual, as we've had all sorts of work schedule and flight delays and such, so it's something that happens once in a while.. Anyway, Friday comes around and Tom and the girls decide to go into Anchorage to do some Black Friday shopping while I get things going at home. (For the record, I did black Friday once.. and have vowed never to do it again, so my going wasn't an option.. lol and it's kinda nice to have the house to myself and calmly get things together, not to mention getting to sleep in a bit..) So I'm home alone, cooking and getting a few things taken care of when the phone rings. It's OCS asking if we'd be willing to possibly take a medically fragile 6/7 month old little girl. She was worn without a pituitary gland and her parents were having trouble dealing with the required medical care. (Basically, she needs daily shots, weekly doctor's visits and her stress levels have to be carefully watched... there's other stuff too, but that's the basics..) They had been having trouble caring for her and their older toddler and the state was looking at stepping in for the baby. So I texted Tom the let him know that he needed to call me as soon as he could. I swear, I barely hit send when the phone rang and it was Tom. He was calling about something entirely different, but it was crazy. So I talked to him about this, and he agreed that it was something we could do. So I called them back and told them we'd be willing, and they were going to have another case worker call me with the details. It was back and forth all day as they were dealing with the parents and the doctors and everything. And, of course, I was now running around trying to take an inventory of what I have, what I'd need, etc.. But, but by about 2PM, we got the call saying they were not going to be taking the child into custody, mom was starting to finally seem to get the training they were trying to give her, so, they all went back out to the village. I, of course, was devastated. I mean, I'm glad that mom and dad were starting to get things and all, but, I had gotten so excited about this placement possibility.. a baby in the house for Christmas and all.. It has taken me days to get over this failed placement. I never even saw her picture nor was I told her name, but those few short hours where she was a possibility.. I got very attached to her. They will be keeping us in mind if they need to pull her later, though, and I got to speak to several new caseworkers who will be able to keep us in mind for other cases as well, and they know we're interested in adoption, too, so.. networking, that would be the silver lining.